Sitting in the coffee shop, see a bunch of people outside, read some billboard signs telling people about bullshit advertisement, see drivers mad because of traffic jam, watch the stupid soap opera on this coffee shop's tv, listening adults talking about their life, hearing people moaning about their jobs, see a perfect family having a lunch together, see the sun goes down..
Looking for my laptop's screen awhile. Searching some youtube videos from my favorite youtube stars. Suddenly I find out a video titled "Bipolar Disorder". I'm checking out and.. I surprised.
I GOT A MENTAL DISORDER CALLED MIXED BIPOLAR DISEASE. I want to cry but the tears won't come. That is weird.
I don't even know why I'm alive. Sometimes I just want to die and live forever beside my dad in heaven, oh wait. Heaven? How's the looks of heaven? I want to see. But die isn't that easy.
I can't stand I'm growing too fast. Hold the seconds I miss my past. Being old is not that easy. I am growing up. I have to be something, something that you will never guess about.
I hate people. Honestly, they are posers.
But I always thank to God that I can open my eyes, inhale a fresh air, and putting a smile on my face even I got a lot of life's problems.
I'm awake this morning felt nothing to do like usual.
I want to be a normal girl, who felt loved and love people.
I won't to be ill. I won't pretending that I care to people, because I never felt how to be cared by.
I am awake and I have to go to sleep again so I can find myself in there.
About Bipolar
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