People says bad words can hurt us so bad.
I said good word can hurt us too.
I love you,
Yes. That sweet shit hurting people in many ways.
Call people and share about problems we got, actually that can make us joy.
But they can't really give advices.
The only one can solve your problems is yourself.
People says A, but your heart says B.
You must be do the B, even that will be the hurt one.
My life been messed up, many times..
I bet everyone does.
People nowadays fucked up because of broken heart.
Some of them can't stand it so they decide to harm themselves, or they can do the stupid suicide.
We can't blame when someone did that.
We blame the person who hurt those victims.
I'm a 21 years old girl, nearly adult but I can't think clear about anything.
Once I'm fallin' love with someone I shouldn't.
He's already taken by an immature shit for 4 years or more I don't care.
A month after he said he loves me, I found out he's taken.
That was hurt so damn much. I tried to pushed him away.
I tried to keep the distance, I tried pretending to be the one who don't need him.
I tried many ways to forget the way he looked at me, the way he kissed my shoulder, the way he kissed my forehead, the way he hold my hand when I barely sleep while he drive me home, the way he pulled his hands on my hip while I hug him for the last time.
And then I fail.
It's easy for me to fallin' love with stranger. But he's different kind of stranger who can make me stay awake all night just for thinking about us, and gave me some nightmares because of my feelings for him.
I never wanted to be the herpes for cute couple. But it's already done.
The girl found out who am I and she think that I'm the reason of that boy told her about boredom in their relationship. I already said I have to go because I won't hurt anyone. He said don't.
It's hurt when that boy text me: "I'll pick my girl, I'll chat you later okay." he's gone awhile.
There was not okay for me. But I can pretending say it's okay with these tears going down on my face.
One day I think I'm tough enough to let him go and having a happy ending with his pet. I told him to fuck off.
Day 1.. I'm fine
Day 2.. Shhhiiiiiii...... I'm finnneeeee....tttttttt
Day 3.. DAMN IT! WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS LINE ID!?
Day 4.. I did it talk to him again and we just pressed the restart button. We started all over again, like we didn't know each other before :p
Honestly my life is suddenly being full package of quotes and music videos.
Friend of mine said "that's all your choice, letting go of your short term happiness for your long term happiness or keep living in your comfort zone with him for happiness a short term, because one day he will be back with her pet, and you'll getting hurt for more. Sooner or later it'll be happening."
This week is the damn exams week.
Passed 2 exams, I'm late because of stay awake just overthinking of this matter.
Come to university with a fucked up face, without shower and cute big panda's eyes.
My mate said what's wrong with you!?
I said nothin, just fucked up by life and people. haha *poker face
The storm is getting bigger and make me drowning too much, until come one of my kind of sister.
I told her all the details.
She just say, go pray.. God knows and will help you, don't be ashame to cry and say please, because God just miss you, and God want you to remember if God does exist. When you feel hurt like this just remember you have mom and brother at home waiting for your best story, they will sad if they find out their love is getting insane like this. You want to see them sad? see your mom crying on her pray? Nobody wants. I can't give you any advice, just ask God and it'll be alright.
I pray.. Pleased to help me grow my patience, and give the best for all people I love.
Feel better now, I told him to not talking to me in a day because today is his gf's birthday, I won't bother anyway. Just take your fun time with your girl. I'm fine
At the end I have to say ' Mature is when you can watch your person you love happy, even they're happy without you or not because of you. '
Sounds like bullshit.
Biggest bullshit. But the most fantastic moment is when you did the biggest bullshit.
I am still trying to figure this out.
He keep saying we met in a wrong way and the time shouldn't like this.
But it's already done and this is God's plan.
Make it worth or you just waste your time again for nothing.
I am sorry I love you.
But I'm not sorry for loving your boyfriend.
Heart's problem, you can't blame me.
xoxo
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