We're Not In Wonderland Anymore, Alice!

Peterpan said "Hey Alice! Don't grow up."
Alice won't listen, she take a risk of being grow up.


People heard bad things.
Alice got the blame.
What a lovely world.
With craps on it.

She mature with the damage, not with the years.
Sometimes it's scary what a smile can hide.
Alice whispering.. "Please save me from my mind."
Feeling that she should apologise for her existing.

Peterpan told the story about how the sun loved the moon too much.
The sun died every night, to let the moon breath.
Sometimes we need reality to slap the fantasy.
Oh also need fantasy to survive the reality.

If you can't wake up from the nightmare,
maybe you're not asleep.
Alice don't live in darkness,
darkness lives in her.

We all have demons,
Alice choose to feed it.
When Alice asked Peterpan to help her buy at least one dream,
Alice realise you can't sell dreams to someone who has walked through nightmares.


Now Alice understand why Peterpan didn't want to grow up.

BIPOLAR DISORDER

Happy then sad
Crying then laughing
Up then down
Excited then breaking down
Deep deep and slowly ending life.

I am. I have a disorder. 
Swinging moods like a little girl playing swing at the park seems happy but we never know how their feelings inside. People called it Bipolar Disorder.
Some people struggle but some cannot.
Easy to cutting.

I wasn't cutting. I drank poison.
Hell that wasn't worked. I didn't die.
I googling about that damned disorder, it says because of genetic and childhood traumatic. I guess I am. My damned disorder mixed by eating disorder. 
Day by day I'm goin to be a psychotic person who wants to murder people I hate. 

I wish I can struggle or I just can end this shit life by the death.
Living in peace with my dad and my grandad. They called me like crazy. They came up asked me to live with them in heaven, no more annoying people, no more pressure for life, no more problems. 
But I have people I love and I won't turn their lives being into the sorrow. My mom already insane because took care of me and my brother. She working hard to earn a lot of money so she don't even care what's goin on with her children's illness.

I guess my brother has something wrong just like me. But he always having a happy pill so he never felt what I feel. My brain damaged my physical going down. I always say to people, if you can't make me happy, just stay away from me before I break your damn life!

You tried to hurt me or people I love, don't ever beg for a comfortable life for yourself. I am a kind of nightmare for haters. just be careful of me. You hurt me, I'll take over your life. Deal with that. 


Definition of Bipolar
How?