Can't Let Go

I love you

Everything's gonna be alright.

Looking for a bright light in the dark of life.

You know I care even I'm not always be there when you need me.

Don't you worry, everything's gonna be alright.

Sky is getting bright sooner or later.

The day when I said I'm afraid of finish my study. I'm afraid if I fail and make a mistake in life for twice. I've been failed and it was unforgettable. Make you cried and gone nuts. 

Can't even forgive myself.

But we can through the hardest part of life when we lost someone very special.

9 years ago this day feels so different.

I still can feel how tears falling down, and these eyes got punishment watching you cried over dad's body. People can easily say let go. Let your dad go and live peacefuly in heaven. But I can't help it. I can't lie to myself I won't let go. Never!

The way I solved some problems with alcohol and other bad stuff was wrong.

He's watching over me. I know he cried..

I'm sorry dad, I can't be your dream daughter.

I'm sorry mom, I can't be your smart daughter.

I'm sorry bro, I can't be your pretty sister.

I can't easily say sorry, but if I did I really mean it.

Life is getting bitter.

People getting sick. Sick mind!

There is no real love on people's heart.

All they wanted is just sex. 

Having a bleeding nose every single night is kinda killing me.

But makes me stronger for living.

I feel so close to you right now dad..

Can't wait to hug you right there and we can going somewhere, with mom and your son. Like we used to be. Real family :)

I know mom was a shit, because she married someone we never accepted.

Not because he will change your place, but I knew that guy wasn't that good.

You were the jerk one, dad!

But you're still my lovely jerk. And there is no place can't be changed by.

I don't have to tell you anything, because you already know what's happening.

Calm. everything's gonna be alright. Just be save in heaven and watch me growing up better.

I will take care of mom and brother. 

Kiss and pray for you both.

The best parents in both world.

xoxo

Poems For Mom and Dad

I Love You daddy

Crushes in my life may keep coming and going.
But, Daddy my love for you is a river that will keep flowing.
No matter how much you scold me, I know it's for my own good.
And even if i don't listen to you, you'll forgive me, I know you would.
You're so special to me more than you can imagine.
Without your advice and love, life by itself feels rotten.

My Father's Love

My father's love goes deeper and beyond words.
When I call out in pain, I can be sure I'll be heard.
When I need a hug, I know he'll be waiting with open arms,
And when I'm scared, he'll make sure I'm safe and sound.
When I need someone to talk, he'll be waiting for me to start.
When I'm sad and in pain, he'll be already mending my heart.
No matter what the situation is, my father will always be there.
When I'm looking for love, I'll open my eyes and find my love everywhere.

Daddy Dearest

Dearest Daddy,
How can I begin to tell you what you mean to me,
Whenever you're around the grass always seems to be green.
The sun is just never too hot and there's a rainbow in the sky.
You'll make all of us so happy, Dad.
I can just never deny.
I just want the best for you, cause you're so very dear.
My you perpetually go around spreading your lovely cheer.

You Made Me Strong

Everytime I fell, you pushed me up, shedding tears, you never let me drop one.
With my soul, and all my heart,
I wish you are there, to support till the end.
As you did, in the start.
With all the screaming love that you poured,
I believe, you carved me stronger through my core.
I love you Mom.

Be Entertaining Mom

She is innocent like Tom.
And yet so cute like Jerry.
She makes me laugh like Flintstones.
Yet she's understanding like Wilma.
She is beautiful like Sandra Bullock.
And loving like Gomes.
She is caring like Granny.
Yet witty like Tweety.
She is just not my mother.
She is my best friend.

Follow me?
Watch me?
Watch another me?
Follow my Tumblr?
Check out my PICTURES?

Incredible Woman

Do you ever feel wanted to kill someone? I do. I wanted to kill people who hurts my little family, include my close mates. Because I don't wanna see these people got hurt. I never wanted to hear there is people I love crying because of stupid reason. MOM.. fragile woman but she pretending like she's strong as a horse. Here some story about her..

 

The day where's my her husband died, I saw her as a figure women who desperate because of half of her soul is missing. How pathetic but I can't do anything.. People keep saying that I have to patient and I have to be something so my parents will proud of me, don't you know that is a disgusting advices!? You guys just saying without know how I feel inside. That's heavy! Day by day everything changing like insanely. People changing so fast like the weather nowadays. Her husband died but her life must go on because it cannot stop her life too. In her office, she got an offered by her head office to deliver money to office eradication of corruption, because a lot of corruption in her office. But she won't do that because it's like a bribe and that is not good at all, if she got catched she will join people in cells. LOL so she won't do that.. Her head office said she will get demotion, she is so stressed out because she thought about her kids at home. She told me everything then I said, don't worry mom, money can be find. But in fact she got promoted! Lol what a surprise. God is always give the best. The hard part can be accepted is when she told me about get married again, why I mad? because she told me a month before the marriage. How crazy is that!? I don't even know who's the guy, me and my brother got really mad but finally we understand and accepted her decision. But don't blame us for against that guy.. After get married, this fragile woman getting more and more religious like crazy! That is too much. I don't like it.

 

Sometimes I don't want to be a parents, because parents have to take a responsible about everything. But it cannot be happen haha The woman that I called Incredible is my mom. She is the best woman I've ever have. I love you Mom, forever and ever! I don't wanna lose you. I'm sorry if I can't be something now, but I keep trying to be something and you'll be proud of me someday. I will take you and your son with me when I success. We have to be a perfect little family, just you me and your little son. Thanks for being my mom.

YOU ARE FUCKING THE BEST~
Do not ever underestimate small people because you can't compare your life with another person. Life must balance.