Everything Has Changed

Look up!
See!
There is a lot of stars up there..
Beautiful isn't it?

Sky never changed.
Stars always up there every night.
But when the grey clouds come out, the stars just hide for awhile.
It's like right now.

We were as one.
Now, everything's changing.
You said don't go, I ain't going anywhere.
When I stay, you just ignore me like a dumpster.
Pain is still a pain, I'm trying to refused the pain but I can't.
It's coming slapping me like a retard.

I didn't say that you are a retard, I said the pain.

I lost mine, you said that you want to stand beside me when I need help.
It just a bullshit speech though.
But thanks that you can made me stay.
Kinda hurt just being a fly between you and them.
But thanks that made me learn how to flying as a flies.

Jatinangor,
Cold as an ice. If we're together we can laugh now. Together..
Not just you and them. Did you just forget me?
Don't worry I will stay here whenever you need me I'll try to help.
I got my own zone, my world and my own happiness.
I'm okay alone, but I'm better with you.

You are just a boy who can't grow up because you just focused your life in one straight line.
I'm not trying to be arrogant, but you made me.

We are still be friends until someday the real big problem will separate us.
Someday..
Wish that day will never come.

Love you a lot, Mate :)

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Ever After

I was fell.. But that was so weird. I didn't feel hurt. Oh I was fallin love.

Fallin love with someone called X. The love story about X and Y came true. We've been together for couple weeks. This is abnormal. Nuts and complicated. X and Y didn't talk much. Didn't meet much but we fight all day. Days by days goes amazing, weeks by weeks goes insecure.. And we're done.

X broke up Y with a simple excuse. "I CAN'T STAND BY YOURSIDE ANY LONGER." that's it. He was changed like a stranger. I don't know him anymore. Who was that?A lot of questions jumped in my mind. Was you played me? Was that for a bet? We're we together just for making a rumor? What was that? and blablabla been thinking crazy. fight a lot with my mind..

Sadness hurt and pain. That's all I felt.But you know life is a happy ending. If the story goes sad ending, that is completely not an ending.So I went to somewhere over the rainbow to heal those pains. I met some new people. Do a lot of stuff for a week and back to my shit life with a brand new piece of heart and soul. A bit scare to loving people, but that's okay. I'm fineI'm totally cured now. 

Thanks for make me growing up. I realize that you are totally jerk because there's someone else beside  me and you in fact.

People told me the truth about you. I wasn't believe because I didn't feel what they felt. But now I'm no longer blind and they are right.you were the most person that I fight for. You never appreciated that.

Thanks for being such a jerk so I can save my other tears.Go ahead with that bitches and letting go the one who loved you the most.

We were cool. We are cold. And we will freeze.

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Trip

ME ISN'T EASY

You see that clouds goes cloudy?
I don't, because I already saw your face.
I don't wannabe the grey cloud in your sunshine life.

DON'T YOU EVER THINK, IF YOU DECIDED TO BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE, THAT MEANS YOU'RE GETTING BRAVE? YOU MAY NOT BRAVE AS A SUPERHERO, BUT YOU'RE ALIVE AS A REAL SUPERHERO IN YOUR OWN MIND.

Why are we pretending? Why are we just pretending that love isn't real? Because if you don't want me, you should just tell me now. So I can save this tears. Well that's just some random cute quote haha. Let me tell you story about today. I feel so complicated about everything. But at least finer things came today.

Close your eyes, lets your heart take a rest, lets start dreaming about a better life. Don't open you're eyes if you're not ready to face the cruel world. I find myself acting very simple, I act to be me.
I can see how I see people, how I judge people suddenly, how I love someone, how I hate some people with no reason, and I couldn't find any foundations of myself. Who am I then? Why I'm here closing my eyes and acting as me. 

I open my eyes with fears. I have to learn how to be growing up, because I can't always close my eyes to avoid my fears. Life is hard but if we enjoy it, we will find what's called HAPPINESS. Hard to trust anyone, but you're not a computer that you can save all your stories. You have to socialize with a lot of people, trusting people it's like giving your half heart to someone you can be trusted. I don't fucking know why I'm saying this. My brain is not working well now. I wrote everything inside my brain now. You have to know that my half cell's brain is dead.

Do you feel you're an idiot when you read this blog? It's okay because you better judge yourself then you judge other people you will never know their stories. 

Believe it or not, there is someone sick wants to be a psychiatrist, he said I WANT TO BE A PSYCHIATRIST! I AM A SICK GUY! I KNOW HOW TO FEEL SICK! don't you get it what is that mean? This earth goes drowning. Just pray and do your best for life and death. Don't let your fears stop your dreams. Don't hurt people if you won't to be hurt. Karma does exist so be nice with people. I'm not a God and I'm not perfect, I just share how to be a good person in life.


Love
B-